Devil walking by my side.

Make my head hurt and my stomach swirl; it's all I've ever wanted. Make me, break me, leave me; you were never worth the second glance.
Choke on apologies, forget your second chance.

I want to wake up happy, healthy, and safe. I want you to break yourself before breaking me.
Give me light, give me clarity, because in this darkness you've cast over me, it's impossible to see.

My heart just might beat right out of my chest if I have to listen to you take another breath. Suppress all living, you were only ever good for death.

Baby was only ever worth a dream. There's more to living a life than just being alive.
So come with me to watch blacks turn to blue.
I'll let the clock tick away when spending my time with you.

I can't pretend.

I feel like our relationship is a soda bottle shaken one too many times and let to spew. And maybe when it's all done, there's not enough left in the bottle for me to even want to keep. Maybe it's played out and done.

I know I shouldn't doubt that, I shouldn't doubt you, but you shouldn't make me doubt myself. I think I can surround myself with better people.

Those things needed to be said and I'm not sorry at all, because I'd do it all over again.

I'll let fate decide my way and decisions. You're not getting under my skin again.

I wish you would understand at least a bit.

It's getting light out.

I'll slap these handcuffs on our wrists to keep us together. And when I get sick enough of you, I'll find someone that knows magic to finally let us free, to let us go our own ways. I only want to be with you for a little while. I can't stand to be with someone that reminds me of myself for too long.
I'd wage my whole life for a few hours stuck with you, but I'll gamble it all away when I go searching for that way out, when all the magic is played out and we need someone else to make it for us.

I'll take my life to the top of a mountain, but I can peer down the slope and see my life being stuck in the foothills in the later years.

I can be as dangerous with my actions as you can with your eyes.

The city will sleep when we scream together. We're never alone, even when we need to be.

Blamed for this.

I want to get inside your head and live there if only for an hour.
I want to see what makes you, you.
I want to be as close to you as possible.
I'm tired of that barrier.

You make me want to be a better person, to think over my actions before committing to them.
I want you to know what you do to me.

In my blood.

Dig deep into me and test everything you thought you knew.
You don't know me and I don't know you.
We're two worlds apart and I can't deal with it anymore. So let me conceal my hurt and move on. I'm barely hanging on.

Let me go.

I'll keep my eyes closed and my heart open as my world fades away. And when I open my eyes, I'll finally be the person I always wanted to be.

I've already let myself go; it's your turn this time.

You were desperate.

Teach me to breathe all over again because I'm not used to this new you.
You always taught me to be mature and work things out.
Why can't you?

I'll sit in my seat watching from the crowd as night fades to dawn.
I'll watch as nothing changes.

Take this hurt from the inside and I hope you feel it too.
Wear it around your neck and use it as a reminder to think before you commit to your actions.

Learn to live in your own way and don't feed me any more lies. If I'm given one more, they might just all come out of my mouth and end up at your feet.

I wish you would see the damage you've left in your wake.

I'm want to lock myself away for years to avoid my life. There's no way I'm ready to stare it in the face yet.

Pack up my mind.

I can't do this. I just need to breathe.
You came back to me but you're not the you I thought I knew. I don't want to know what happened to you in those few hours you left.
I'm thankful you're back again, but do you even notice that I'm still breathing?

I need some time of my own.

A soul without a body.

My world is coming apart. Two plus two equals four suddenly doesn't make sense anymore.
Stories and words make me want to vomit and the tears from my eyes threaten to start up once more.
My bed is beckoning my body to just lay there once more and let the world melt away. To sleep away my problems for a few hours. To act like I'm my own person and I don't depend on everyone else in my life.

I wish you could see what you're doing to me.
I wish you could look at me and feel everything you're putting me through.

This is a punishment worse than death.
Please don't leave me.

Give me your heart.

I want to make my home in the middle of your thoughts.
To use your memories like a blanket over my own. And to lay my head to sleep on your fears. To be so close to you to know your next move.

I want to make your head my home.

What a vague description.

I'll sit stony faced and cold hearted for years if it will protect me from you.
If you had a fragment of an idea of what went on my head, you'd suit yourself up in armor as well.

I look in the mirror and I've come to hate the person I see. I'm my own nightmare and I'm not ready to go back to sleep just yet.

If thoughts were worn on the outside, I'd walk alone.
Be the one that joins me.

My heart beating out of my chest.

Take a deep breath in and let it out just as slowly as you took it in.
There's no place you'd rather be than this room.
Right now this room is your life and it's what will determine your next move.
Tell yourself you'll make it and you'll do what you want. But the others around you only believe it as much as you yourself believe it.
Don't open your eyes to the stares of others or the venomous eye of a camera.
Just breathe in and breathe out.

Dive into a pool of your thoughts and dry off with your dreams.
Reach into the sky for a star.
That star is going to be with you for the rest of your life.
That star is your best friend.
Your best friend is the star in your sky of dreams.

Breathe in, breathe out, keep going, and go out in style.



I am a sucker for lovers and being loved.
I am in love with the idea of possibly being loved one day.
I want to believe in true love.
I am a sucker for fairy tale endings.
Bad luck stops when good luck starts.
Being loved is the best luck to have ever been found.
I love what I don't know.
I love what you know but won't tell me.

To remind you of the time we had.

If you can play the victim, you'll do it. The person that cried wolf a few too many times. You'll act as if you've been stabbed in the back and left to watch your blood pool on the new hard wood flooring you bought.

And I'll watch from the corner. I'll watch and think of how I'll be twice as great as you ever were in my future. I'll watch that blood pool around my feet and I'll think of how I'll leave you one day. I'll envision my life in a different home, a different town, state, with different loved ones surrounding me and cheering me on in my dream. I'll think of the people that want me to pursue my dream.

And as that scene plays out, people will finally see what a fraud you are. How you play victim for attention. People will finally be exposed to the dark hearted monster you are.

You better wish I'd never say this to your face. I'd never clear my head like this in front of you.
You better wish I never hand this journal to you for your birthday one year.
You better wish I never walk back into your life once I'm out.

You never let me in.

I'd rip myself to shreds and figure out the real me if it would put a smile on your face. If it would make you happy, I'd stop thinking so much. I'd stop questioning my life if it would bring us closer.

I don't know who you are just yet; but, if doing all of those things would tell me, I'd do all three in a heart beat.

I want to know what love is. To have that love so close and be able to wake up to it every day. To be able to touch something that real.

I want to make myself believe that it is real.

I want to know that you love me for the way that I am, for all of my scattered thoughts, for my moods, my opinions, for me.
I just want to hear those words come from someone's lips.

Can't get through.

Maybe one day I'll find the person that keeps my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds.
Maybe I'll finally find the person I'm meant to know.

Until I find that person I'm going to wish on shooting stars, watch for 11:11, and keep my head and heart in the clouds.
I'll keep my soul young and a smile continuously looped on my features.

I want to feel alive as I scream from atop a mountain.
I want to make snow angels and watch the snow fall.
I want to rake a pile of leaves and then jump in them.

I want to be that normal child that everyone looks over.
But I also want to be that extraordinary child that everyone points and smiles at.
And some days I want to be the shunned child that is cast away in a dim corner.

I have so many personalities that it hurts my head.

A way out.

There are days when I want to throw myself off a bridge so I don't have to see the outcome of my actions.
I wonder if you have those days.
I wonder if you'd follow me.

I need a Jack to my Sally.
I don't want to be the end of myself.
I don't want to end up broken.

Stop fighting your feelings and feel better in the end.

Welcome to my head.

Have a little faith in me.

Apologies have been written on napkins and engraved in my mind. They've been recorded through voicemail and scribbled on letters in the mail.

I'm here to tell you they never made it to the heart because they never came from a heart.
They were played out and over used.
I forgot to tell you I was into originality.
I forgot to mention that your words and breaths were wasted on someone who didn't care.
I forgot and played along.

I'm determined to rebuild myself. I'm keeping some things the same, but I'm changing you and my thoughts on you. I'm not quite sure what's going to keep me going anymore; there was a time when I lived for your praise and approval, a time when I lived for our fights.

I feel like I've been walking down a deserted road with snow falling from the sky.
My spring is about to come and I'm leaving you in winter.

The flowers in my garden have been blooming just fine without your attention.

I've convinced myself that I'm going to be okay.
These wounds will become scars to remind me of what we did wrong.
I'm going to move on.

I'm setting my mind free.

Just a face.

Give my heart and body a break.
My soul has decided to be a trooper and my mind managed to make it through.

I miss you and my old self.
I'm not who I used to be or who I want to be.

My body is ready to give up in this battle.

If you knew that you won years ago I don't know what would happen.

Nothing can give me back the years I spent fighting you.

I'm getting better.
I'm getting over myself.
And I'm letting go of my old vision of you. I'm done with the memories.

Send me the rest of my heart with no return address; I'll have no need for it in my new life.

Face your threats.

When the tears finally stop dripping from your eyes, call me back. I want to have an honest talk with you. One where my heart doesn't twist and turn because I know I'm hurting both of us.

I never was good enough for anyone. Half of the time I don't believe I'm good enough for myself. I get in my head and tell myself things I know aren't true, but they sound so sophistacated and grown up that I'll take anything that I can get.

I want someone that can stop myself from eating me alive.
My thoughts are the most vicious thing in my body. And tears are the only way to stop them for a moment.

I can threaten myself all I want, but I won't believe it until I see some action.

I need to feel alive once more.

I want to go to the top of a mountain one day and just sit to breathe regularly. I need one night alone to sleep properly. Maybe a day in an empty house to collect my thoughts.

I am so fucked up.