Stay stronger than I have been in the past,
Write you letters for each day that I am gone,
we both know it won't last.
Hello, you were my life, you were my life.
Promise to make it work,
Promise to make it back.
You were my life, you were my life.
Hurts to know that this was never real.
I believe in what I feel.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
We're fading out.
I've grown up and you grew past me. We slipped through each others' fingers.
I promise you that I'm doing fine, I wish you the best as you continue to grow. And it hurts to know you never quite thought as much of me as I did of you. But I guess that's the beauty of being let down, finding out that just because something was beautiful through blurred vision, doesn't mean that it will always stay that way when your vision clears.
I'll be the first to confess that I'll miss you, that I have missed you. In a sense you've been gone for a while, in a sense it really just hit me how far gone that you are.
We'll both grow older, we'll both have many more experiences. I can honestly say my time with you was thrilling. To meet my best friends because of you. To know that for once in my life I was really part of something for a moment. I guess that's where I got too caught up in the good to see what was really going on with you. Maybe I just didn't want to see what had happened to you, all of you. There was a point that each of you made a conscious decision to let it go and give up hope before I did, before many of us did.
I'm sure this is easy to let happen, but I guess I had convinced myself that you were too special to me to let it happen. And that's when the growing up washed upon me. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the box I had been suffocating in. We had both moved on by that point.
I can't deny, you brought me the happiest times of my life. You'll always be credited with that. But it does pain me to think how much you've let yourselves go, how much you've let each other change. For the better or for the worse, it doesn't much matter because you're not the same people I fell in love with in 2005.
This was inevitable, as much as I would like to deny it. I know next time you're in town though, I'll come say goodbye to you. Though one of you has moved in a different direction than the others, I'd still like to say goodbye to you four, to close that chapter to an extent, though I'm not promising that it will stay closed. It's a fun chapter to look back upon. I just hope as the new you, you all can find that same special way to give to others exactly what you gave to me.
I promise you that I'm doing fine, I wish you the best as you continue to grow. And it hurts to know you never quite thought as much of me as I did of you. But I guess that's the beauty of being let down, finding out that just because something was beautiful through blurred vision, doesn't mean that it will always stay that way when your vision clears.
I'll be the first to confess that I'll miss you, that I have missed you. In a sense you've been gone for a while, in a sense it really just hit me how far gone that you are.
We'll both grow older, we'll both have many more experiences. I can honestly say my time with you was thrilling. To meet my best friends because of you. To know that for once in my life I was really part of something for a moment. I guess that's where I got too caught up in the good to see what was really going on with you. Maybe I just didn't want to see what had happened to you, all of you. There was a point that each of you made a conscious decision to let it go and give up hope before I did, before many of us did.
I'm sure this is easy to let happen, but I guess I had convinced myself that you were too special to me to let it happen. And that's when the growing up washed upon me. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the box I had been suffocating in. We had both moved on by that point.
I can't deny, you brought me the happiest times of my life. You'll always be credited with that. But it does pain me to think how much you've let yourselves go, how much you've let each other change. For the better or for the worse, it doesn't much matter because you're not the same people I fell in love with in 2005.
This was inevitable, as much as I would like to deny it. I know next time you're in town though, I'll come say goodbye to you. Though one of you has moved in a different direction than the others, I'd still like to say goodbye to you four, to close that chapter to an extent, though I'm not promising that it will stay closed. It's a fun chapter to look back upon. I just hope as the new you, you all can find that same special way to give to others exactly what you gave to me.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Your faith is broken.
I just had one of the best talks of my life.
More people should be willing to just talk about their ideas of life. I promise it helps.
I've thought a lot lately.
I really just want to matter and know that I matter in someone's life.
I don't need children to make me feel like I matter. True love isn't found only once. I just need to get out what I need to say in life. And that's what scares me most. Not being able to do that. I feel like I'll die too young. I feel like I owe so much to so many people that I can't tell. I just want the chance to talk to someone important in my life just once. I feel like my best friends need to know that they mean the world and more to me. I need to know that I mattered at least once in my life.
More people should be willing to just talk about their ideas of life. I promise it helps.
I've thought a lot lately.
I really just want to matter and know that I matter in someone's life.
I don't need children to make me feel like I matter. True love isn't found only once. I just need to get out what I need to say in life. And that's what scares me most. Not being able to do that. I feel like I'll die too young. I feel like I owe so much to so many people that I can't tell. I just want the chance to talk to someone important in my life just once. I feel like my best friends need to know that they mean the world and more to me. I need to know that I mattered at least once in my life.
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